A poem, read by the author, for you to enjoy.
An afternoon otter
8 hours ago
Pog, surfing. It does exactly what it says on the tin.
Melby you sick fuck you really need to stop obsessing over me. Yes you really are like the pitters that way.Benson is saying her target is "sick" and "obsessed". She is using the language of mental health to make her argument, but the aggression of "sick fuck" makes it clear this comment is not made in a compassionate or caring way. Benson is slurring, presumably because she has run out of rational arguments to counter Melby's claims.
“I’ve always hammered home the importance of good spelling to my staff. Unfortunately, this didn’t extend to the twat who made my sign and posted it for all the world to see. It’s a massive embarrassment as I don’t have any discocunts in stock.”Unlikely a store manager would call a member of staff a 'twat' when giving a quote to a newspaper. The store manager is oblivious to the problem of displaying "DISCOCUNTS" on the High Street, he is concerned that he can't stock them.
“I popped in to get one for my husband as I’d rather he didn’t touch mine. I was vexed when they told me that they didn’t sell any. I left in tears so I went to Burger King and stuffed my face full of dead cow and fat.”Lesley Longarms wanted to buy a discocunt for her husband because she would rather he didn't touch her discocunt. Hmm, that looks a little problematic to me. She was vexed when they said they didn't sell discocunts. Similar. The 'dead cow and fat' line also seems a bit unlikely when giving a quote to someone.
The shop has since replaced the banner.Lovely little understated punchline from WalesOnCraic, or as Benson would say, after all that fuss, "Never mind."
WalesOnCraic is a spoof website for entertainment purposes only.They are very open about their mission. One click and Benson could have settled any little niggling doubts. But she didn't have any, and it is even likely she didn't read past the headline of the article.
Facepalm. How does that get through even the most cursory system?Err, if you are talking about how Benson posted this, it is because she is extremely gullible.
FAKE. I’ve lived in Cardiff for over five years and I’ve never seen any shop resembling this. Plus it totally looks Photoshopped and comes from a stupid ‘satire’ site.Her first reason is the unlikely "fact" that she knows every shop in Cardiff, at city with a population of over 300,000. Second, it looks photoshopped, which is better, but is not conclusive proof of anything. Finally she gets it, it's a "stupid 'satire' site". Not so stupid that they couldn't fool Benson mark you. If WalesOnCraic is stupid, Benson is even dumber by falling for it. Nice compliment for your blog host there.
Are you sure this is real? Just judging by the other post titles I’d say this is a spoof site:
Helpline Opens To Help Women Addicted To Buying Cushions
New Series Of Rentaghost To Be Filmed In Bedlinog
Labour Party To Organise Piss-Up In A Brewery
But worth a smile:
[Shopkeeper: ] …It’s a massive embarrassment as I don’t have any discocunts in stock.
Shopper Lesley Longarms said: “I popped in to get one for my husband as I’d rather he didn’t touch mine. I was vexed when they told me that they didn’t sell any.”Delft has now noticed a smutty joke.
This is satire, but I’ve worked in banner making and its actually not that implausible that a mistake can creep in. If it gets past the digital stage, people will likely never see the whole banner until its in place, and even then, they aren’t looking for spelling mistakes, so it may be a client that sees it first.Caf gets it, but doesn't enlighten us as to where his/her opinion comes from.